Being asked to perform a funeral is an honor and a challenge, but something that is likely to happen if you chose to get ordained in the Universal Life Church. The time immediately after a death is one of the most emotionally-charged times a family or community will face. They have just lost a loved one, and in most cases have not begun to process what life will be like without them. On top of dealing with all the emotional upheaval, it falls on the family to plan a major event.
As soon as possible after you hear of a death, provide support to the family and close friends. When providing pastoral care, however, be sensitive to the family’s beliefs. For example, don’t offer any kind of reassurance of a “better place” after death if the family does not believe in an afterlife. Be sure to ask what the family believes as you plan the funeral.
Even though death does not occur on a schedule, the funeral is time-sensitive. If you cannot hold it immediately for any reason (such as family members coming in from out of town), you may want to consider a memorial service instead. The family may have a particular place that they want to hold the funeral or memorial service; if they don’t, you may have to help them choose a location. Wherever you wind up, be sure to follow any requirements the location may have. Ask them about regulations for flowers and other mementos.
The family may want a specific piece of Scripture or other works read at the funeral. They may also have particular customs. Be in communication with the family to make sure their traditions are honored. They may also have photos for display or to be put in a program; ask.
Anything can happen at a funeral; grief looks different to different people. Someone may want to make an impromptu speech or a eulogy may be emotional and long. It is important to remain flexible and sensitive to the family’s needs.
Performing a funeral is a challenge and an honor. It is a time for the family to honor their loved one and say goodbye. The most important thing is providing emotional support to the family, even after the funeral. There are procedures to be followed, but the family is first. Support them, make sure the ducks are lined up, and the funeral will go beautifully.
