The number of people who choose to marry someone with a different religious background has steadily increased over the years. Only 20 percent of weddings in the United States were between interfaith couples prior to 1960. By the first decade of the 21st century, the number had more than doubled to 45 percent. While love may conquer all, spouses who have dissimilar spiritual beliefs typically face more relationship issues than couples in same faith unions. Some studies have also found they are less likely to be happy and more likely to divorce.
Challenges
One reason interfaith relationships are thought to be on the rise is because fewer and fewer people claim any religious affiliation. When one or both partners do not have strong spiritual beliefs, they may be more open to someone else’s views or, at a minimum, not oppose them. One way couples may choose to deal with potential religious conflict is to avoid the topic altogether. This is typically much easier to do when you are single and dating. Interfaith couples are often most tested when they decide to marry and have children. Issues like how to celebrate (or not celebrate) holidays such as Christmas, Easter and Passover can cause tension in relationships. Another issue can be the marriage ceremony itself and what type of service to have. How to raise children is frequently one of the biggest points of contention, even for those people who have never been religious.
Statistics on Interfaith Unions
- In the United States, Jews were the most likely to be married to someone with a different religious background, Mormons were the least likely and Muslims were somewhere in the middle.
- The children of interfaith couples are two times more likely to be raised in their mother’s faith than in their father’s.
- Evangelicals have a 50 percent divorce rate when married to Non-evangelicals and a 61 percent divorce rate when married to someone with no religious affiliation.
What Does the Bible Say?
There are several passages referenced in the Bible believed to address interfaith relationships. They can be interpreted different ways, depending on your point of view.
- Corinthians 7:13-16
“If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”
- Malachi 2:11
“Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god.”
Three Tips to Help It Work
- Seek Common Ground
Many religions have basic, core beliefs that overlap. Looking for similarities rather than focusing on differences may strengthen your relationship.
- Have the Difficult Conversations Before the Wedding
Don’t put off discussing how you will celebrate the holidays or raise your children until after you are married. These are important topics. If you can’t reach a consensus, it may be advisable to look for a partner with more similar views. Assuming you will be able to change someone’s beliefs later on is a risky strategy.
- Don’t Force Change
If your partner is considering converting, let it happen naturally. Trying to force it or giving an ultimatum is often an unsuccessful approach.
All partners in long-lasting relationships experience challenges. However, interfaith couples are likely to have greater obstacles on the road to happily ever after than partners who subscribe to the same religious ideology.