October has been designated National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The National Network to End Domestic Violence estimates that 1 in 4 women are directly affected by domestic violence, but if you have a family member who is being abused, you are indirectly affected simply by your concern for your loved one. Domestic violence is not limited to women. Men can also be abused. Victims of abuse are not protected by race, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation or economic status. Many well-educated individuals are assaulted by those they choose to love.
Domestic violence is a complex issue. Some experts say it takes about seven times for a victim to leave their abuser before they finally get out. Often, the violence escalates as a woman tries to break free and the victim becomes concerned for his or her life. Even though it can seem like an insurmountable task to break the cycle, many people do. There are many organizations working to end domestic violence, but it’s going to take all of us working together to change the climate in which anyone is abused.
What Can You Do to help end Domestic Violence?
- Teach your kids about healthy relationships and talk about safety.
- Be aware of the resources in your community for abused victims.
- Don’t tolerate behavior that belittles another. Let your friends and family know that you’ll help them when they’re ready.
- Donate to a local DV shelter. Although you may not ever know where the shelter is, you can still take items to the drop-off location. Just ask what they need.
- Read books about women’s issues and talk about the problems within your own community in your circles. You never know who you might reach by talking about it.
- Ask your religious leader to make pamphlets and community resources available in your church. Make sure women and men know that they can get support if they are being abused.
- Volunteer with your local domestic violence program.
- Give cash to your local program or host a fundraiser.
- Wear purple during October as support.
- Talk to your local school board and encourage teaching the youth in the community about safe dating and consent, and to recognize the red flags of problematic behaviors.
- Follow NNEDV on social media to stay aware of changes in the law that could affect domestic violence victims.
- Know about apps available for victims of DV.
Victims Are Strong
Many times, a family wants to stage an intervention to help a victim get out of an abusive situation. Keep in mind that by doing so, you may be acting like the abuser. Be supportive and available, but allow each person to make his or her own choices. You don’t know all the variables involved and might inadvertently make the situation much worse. Let your loved ones know you care. Ask how you can help, instead of making decisions for someone. Never think that a woman is weak because she stays with an abuser. It takes a lot of strength to keep going when you’re in that situation.
Awareness is a big step in making a difference. When a person is being abused, she or he may feel alone and as if no one understands. People who have made it out of a domestic violence situation need to tell their story to give others hope. It’s not going to be easy to turn the tides of this epidemic. It’s not an easy topic of conversation. Look around you at the four women who are closest to you. It’s likely that one of those women are in danger right now. Give them the tools they need to change their situation by opening the doors of dialogue. Together, we can make a difference.