We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion.
— Max de Pree
Max de Pree is the author of “Leadership Is an Art,” and he dreamed of a corporation in which all voices could be heard. Bring inclusive is not just a business proposition. It’s vital for every community. Oxford Dictionary defines inclusivity as “An intention or policy of including people who might otherwise be excluded or marginalized, such as those who are handicapped or learning-disabled, or racial and sexual minorities.” Small things often make a big difference when dealing with the topic of being inclusive. Here are ten things that you can implement into your own life to be more inclusive.
- Know the acronym – LGBTTQQIAAP. Know that it evolves over time, and it could change.
- Lesbian
- Gay
- Bisexual
- Transgender
- Transsexual
- Queer
- Questioning
- Intersex
- Asexual
- Ally
- Pansexual
- Pay attention to the pronouns you use. Follow the lead of the person you’re speaking to, and don’t make a big deal about it. It’s okay to ask questions in private, but don’t pry too much. (See number 4.)
- Dating histories are not a phase. Don’t minimize someone’s sexuality based on your own understanding. You shouldn’t assume anything about someone’s sexuality based on the person he or she is currently dating.
- Give people their privacy. Don’t focus on which parts a person has under clothes. This only draws attention away from more important things, like his or her character, dreams and desires. When someone’s uncomfortable, give that person space.
- Be respectful when asking questions. Watch for unspoken clues that the other person doesn’t want to talk about it, and change the subject. Seek out information about the LGBT+ community to get answers from experts such as PFLAG, GLAD, The Task Force or another organization that advocates for civil rights.
- Don’t stereotype. Your gay friend may not want to help you decorate your apartment. Essentially, don’t define someone by his or her gender identity or sexuality. This goes for anyone, straight or gay, every race and socio-economic status. Get to know people individually.
- Don’t assume. If your female neighbor has short hair and wears flannel, she may or may not be a lesbian. There’s no reason you need to have that information unless you’re close enough to her for her to let you know. If it doesn’t affect you, leave it alone.
- Stop using gay as a slur (and any other words that are demeaning to others).
- Don’t gossip with others about sexuality and gender identity. These topics are very personal. It’s okay to gather information about what it means to be transsexual, but you shouldn’t discuss someone’s sexual journey with anyone unless you’ve been given permission.
- Understand gender identity and sexuality are completely different matters.
- Gender identity is the gender with which you identify. It might be the one you were assigned at birth, but it might not be.
- Sexuality is who you are attracted to. It is not interchangeable with gender identity.
There’s an old Muslim saying, “A lot of different flowers make a bouquet.” Our communities are made up of different people who come together in one neighborhood and want to live in peace. By listening to how we talk to others, we become more inclusive and allow everyone to be respected. Small things can make a difference in demonstrating your commitment to the rights of those around you. Treating people the way we would want to be treated leads to building bridges and reducing hate. We have to come together and be more inclusive.