Do you remember the first time you filled out a college application? It was a scary experience if you were alone, but if you went to school and had mentor like a teacher or counselor assist you, you probably got through it a little more easily. Most likely, now it seems pretty straightforward, but it was a mystery when you were back in high school. What about applying for your first part-time job or going for an interview? Those things are also frightening the first times you have to go through them. What helped you get past the butterflies in your stomach? You probably got support from a trusted adult or friend who was a mentor that helped you get over that first hurdle.
It might seem hard to believe that one in three young people grow up without that person in their life. They don’t have someone in the community who will guide them through the maze of adult responsibilities. Mentorship happens through informal relationships, such as those with family friends or an older relative, or through formal programs. And no matter how the relationship begins, it becomes a valuable resource in helping a young person grow up.
What Makes a Good Mentor?
Mentors wear different hats. Sometimes, they’re teachers or coaches. A mentor acts as a cheerleader, an advocate, a role model and a friend. Sometimes, a mentor might even have to be a delegator or even an enforcer of rules. The one key thing that mentors do is to make a difference in the life of another, typically someone younger, but there are all types of mentor-mentee relationships. To be a good mentor, you should have some basic qualities:
- Good listening skills
- Empathy
- An ability to find opportunities and look for solutions
- Flexibility
- A desire to be involved with a young person
- Respect for youth
Advantages of Mentoring
At-risk youth who have a mentor they regularly meet with get many benefits out of the relationship. According to Mentor, The National Mentoring Partnership, these youth are:
- 55 percent more likely to enroll in college
- 130 percent more likely to hold a leadership position
Also, 90 percent have an interest in becoming a mentor themselves, and 78 percent are more likely to volunteer on a regular basis. These youth have a better school attendance than those without a mentor, and they have a better attitude toward education and school. Mentored youth are much less likely to start using drugs or drinking alcohol than their unmentored peers. Mentored youth also have a greater propensity for sports and other positive activities.
But the mentored youth are not the only ones who benefit. Mentors also get something out of the relationship. They learn:
- To give back to the community
- To actively listen and respond to someone
- To share knowledge, which increases self-esteem and confidence
- Better relationship skills
- The satisfaction of helping another person
- To have fun
Start the New Year Right
January is the start of a new year with new possibilities. It’s also National Mentoring Month. Make plans to give time to the youth in your community by reaching out and becoming a mentor. Find opportunities at mentoring.org, or talk to local youth organizations, such as The Boys and Girls Club, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, or 4H. Your church or school may offer mentoring opportunities for students as well. There are many young people who need someone they can trust to help them find their way in the adult world. Even young people with both parents need friends and mentors with whom they have a relationship. An old African proverb states, “It takes a village to raise a child.” The real village that gets a child into adulthood consists of strong parents, good friends and local mentors.